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Introduction
Ratna Sari 19 Cancer ITE College East 19071989 Designer, digital artist, performer, photographer Photo Album Find me on MySpace and be my friend! See my works here
This blog was open since May 2004 |
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Monday, September 03, 2007
Dear Diary,
Currently Listening To: nothing
Current Mood: in wonder...
I remembered the time when I got my O' level results earlier this year. Imagine the cheers, laughter and the sight of happiness could be seen by almost everyone.
However, as for me, my world falls apart instantly. There was no turning back. If only if I could turn back time. If only if I could...
So devastated! Ashamed by my results, I thought it was the end of the world. No one could save me at that time. It was my fault too, being a stubborn head, I did not prepare for it very well. I deserved it. Hated the sight. Thought it was a bad idea to go ITE, since that my mindset about ITE was that once you go there, you are a bad person. I was brought up with that mindset.
I remembered this sentence before I left West Spring Secondary School, "It might be a blessing in disguise."
For a moment, I started to think negatively about that point of time. It was because I felt that I had no hope for anything. No shoulder to cry on. Not even my passion would help it. Initially, I wanted to take private O' level examination for English. Since I had experienced of a 'held-back' before during my secondary school years, I did not want to waste any further time. Time to move on.
I had been having dreams of me having a baby. It was during late 2005-2006, on my secondary 4 year. Baby? Gosh! I'm only like what 17! Weird but wondering. I found out that having a dream about baby symbolises new beginnings and energy for the dreamer in the future.
On 16th April 2007, that was my first day in ITE. Yeah, nervous and feeling insecure for first few weeks.
As days, weeks, months went by, I've made a lot of new friends. Friends that I never met before. It was interesting. Widen my social network. I first met Hafiz Yasim and Hafiz Hussin through my sister after a drama rehearsal. From there, I was introduced to more of their friends basically, The Amigos. I had fun hanging out with them. I feel comfortable when they are around. There are times when I, as a young lady, need their protection. Yes!
The energy I got while hanging out with them was.... Oh! How to explain it? I don't know. But all I can say is that I really love their companion! Always have fun and enjoy each others' companion in every single time. I say laughter is the best medicine!!!
Every time I meet them in school, I never been that crazy and laughed sooo much than ever before. It had actually helped me to recover from my past histories and bad memories.
I was never been truly myself until now. I have learn to love myself, my friends and the people around me.
To keep the bond and treasure every friendship is challenging.
To cherish every waking moments with them is a challenge.
Because you'll never know that the time you both spend together is the last time you'll see each other.
*PeAcE oUt* \m/
Current Mood: in wonder...
Alas! The heat is finally gone
Freedom is what I want for so long
To finally enjoy the loss of time
To experience all except for crime
My heart stopped when I looked back
To think about it my spirit has turned black
Will I ever ace it all
It's either I leap or I fall
Which tears should I cry
Tears of joy or despair
For sure my eyes will not be dry
Soon, that day will be there
Teenager Agonizing Event, Ratna, 2007
I remembered the time when I got my O' level results earlier this year. Imagine the cheers, laughter and the sight of happiness could be seen by almost everyone.
However, as for me, my world falls apart instantly. There was no turning back. If only if I could turn back time. If only if I could...
So devastated! Ashamed by my results, I thought it was the end of the world. No one could save me at that time. It was my fault too, being a stubborn head, I did not prepare for it very well. I deserved it. Hated the sight. Thought it was a bad idea to go ITE, since that my mindset about ITE was that once you go there, you are a bad person. I was brought up with that mindset.
I remembered this sentence before I left West Spring Secondary School, "It might be a blessing in disguise."
For a moment, I started to think negatively about that point of time. It was because I felt that I had no hope for anything. No shoulder to cry on. Not even my passion would help it. Initially, I wanted to take private O' level examination for English. Since I had experienced of a 'held-back' before during my secondary school years, I did not want to waste any further time. Time to move on.
I had been having dreams of me having a baby. It was during late 2005-2006, on my secondary 4 year. Baby? Gosh! I'm only like what 17! Weird but wondering. I found out that having a dream about baby symbolises new beginnings and energy for the dreamer in the future.
On 16th April 2007, that was my first day in ITE. Yeah, nervous and feeling insecure for first few weeks.
As days, weeks, months went by, I've made a lot of new friends. Friends that I never met before. It was interesting. Widen my social network. I first met Hafiz Yasim and Hafiz Hussin through my sister after a drama rehearsal. From there, I was introduced to more of their friends basically, The Amigos. I had fun hanging out with them. I feel comfortable when they are around. There are times when I, as a young lady, need their protection. Yes!
The energy I got while hanging out with them was.... Oh! How to explain it? I don't know. But all I can say is that I really love their companion! Always have fun and enjoy each others' companion in every single time. I say laughter is the best medicine!!!
Every time I meet them in school, I never been that crazy and laughed sooo much than ever before. It had actually helped me to recover from my past histories and bad memories.
I was never been truly myself until now. I have learn to love myself, my friends and the people around me.
To keep the bond and treasure every friendship is challenging.
To cherish every waking moments with them is a challenge.
Because you'll never know that the time you both spend together is the last time you'll see each other.
*PeAcE oUt* \m/
With Love,
Lady Ratna
